Smiley Faces

I laid in bed this morning with one thing on my mind.Nippon( Japan). How am I going to catch up in class and learn all the hiragana Im supposed to in one day! Last week I skip class because I wasnt prepared for an exam and this week is my friend since preschools birthday.

Now maybe Im making a big deal out of it, maybe, I shouldn't even question what I should do about the whole thing. But I havent spoke to her in two months. Literal I've have gone without any kind of contact with her for two months. When we talk i always ask about hows shes doing and that it and It just so happens that her birthday lands on the same day as the class I have once a week. Should I even go?

My mother has so much drama going on in her head and she projects it unto me.Apparently my sister has an oppurtunity to have alot of money her father left her after his death. She really isnt in the right state of mind to... since all she can think about is getting high. It becomes depressing for the family to deal with. We all just look down at her for her decisions and for the problems shes brought to the family. Not only will her children be leaving soon( or so their father says....might be bullshit though) but I might have to adopt my youngest nephew Hugh( only a month old). I dont hear from my sister at all these days and when i do its just because she says she wants to come over. But she never does.

My mother told me that she couldnt believe how her children treated her(meaning me and my sister). And it all started because my sister doesnt want my mother to even have the money that supposed to be for the baby. My sister reasoning is that she doesnt want my mother to have control over "Her" money.
It makes me sick everytime I think about their state of minds.What is wrong with my family to think that everyone is out to hurt them.

All the while I go through my life trying to smile. Enjoying when I find people who like to do the same and who make me smile.It really is the hardest thing to do. But its worth it.

Light all day

Morning theme: Raine Maida- Yellow Brick Road/ sex love honey / and (Angels/Losing/Sleep)

I called Tyler this morning and he wished me good luck on my test today. Thats right Im taking the drivers writen test today. Whooo!....uh, yeah! Actually Im really afraid Im not going to pass. Tyler and all my friends tell me that its just common knowlegde. Heres hoping *crosses eyes*. Last night I didnt spend anytime with Jhon. He was on and so was I but I've been to preocuppied with friends and family to talk.
You asked me what I dreamt the night before. I dont remember. All I remember is rolling out of bed thinking about you and if I could reach you. Missed you again this morning so I wanted to tell you I love you Jhon. With nothing to hide, unaffraid of our future, happy with the present I have with you.... >.> Although, I would like to spend more time with you ^_^, but until we can I love you! I'll see you when I get home, later love.